Saying 'no' nicely
Do you feel like you are always being asked to do things
that you don’t have time for, are not skilled enough for or that someone else
would be better at, just because you are known for always saying yes?
When you are pushed for time and juggling your priorities it’s
easy to take on more than you are capable of doing. After all who hasn’t heard
the phrase ‘if you want something done ask a busy person'?
Taking on too much adds strain to your already busy life –
you will definitely be stressed if you take too much on, but it may also stress
or make you feel guilty if you do manage to say no.
There are some things you have to say yes to, and these
should form part of your expected responsibilities as a worker, friend or
family member. However, you need to
respect yourself and your own time and energy. After all if you don’t have
respect for yourself how can you expect anyone else to respect you?
The ability to say no applies both in work and out of
it. It is your choice whether or not to
comply with someone else’s requests
Before you say ‘yes’ think of these
- Does the request fit in with your own priorities?
- Do you really have time to say yes?
- Has someone only asked you because they know you’ve always said yes in the past?
- Are you just being asked because someone can’t be bothered to do something themselves
- Who is the task really important to?
Saying ‘no’ nicely
- Be polite but firm – No sorry I can’t.
- Offer a compromise if appropriate e.g. if you are being asked to do something at work ask what other task will be taken away instead
- A reasoned no – I’m sorry but that’s not my area of expertise
- Thanks but – Thank you for asking me but I don’t have time to do that right now
You may want to rehearse saying no a few times to yourself if you think it'll be difficult. Say it out loud to yourself in the mirror with confidence until you believe it.
Imagine how great you'll feel when you've practiced saying no a few times and are seeing the results.
Caroline Love
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