Don't be a door mat

Saying 'no' nicely

Do you feel like you are always being asked to do things that you don’t have time for, are not skilled enough for or that someone else would be better at, just because you are known for always saying yes?

When you are pushed for time and juggling your priorities it’s easy to take on more than you are capable of doing. After all who hasn’t heard the phrase ‘if you want something done ask a busy person'?

Taking on too much adds strain to your already busy life – you will definitely be stressed if you take too much on, but it may also stress or make you feel guilty if you do manage to say no.

There are some things you have to say yes to, and these should form part of your expected responsibilities as a worker, friend or family member.  However, you need to respect yourself and your own time and energy. After all if you don’t have respect for yourself how can you expect anyone else to respect you?

The ability to say no applies both in work and out of it.  It is your choice whether or not to comply with someone else’s requests

Before you say ‘yes’ think of these

• Does the request fit in with your own priorities?
• Do you really have time to say yes?
• Has someone only asked you because they know you’ve always said yes in the past?
• Are you just being asked because someone can’t be bothered to do something themselves
• Who is the task really important to?

Saying ‘no’ nicely

• Be polite but firm – No sorry I can’t.
• Offer a compromise if appropriate e.g. if you are being asked to do something at work ask what other task will be taken away instead
• A reasoned no – I’m sorry but that’s not my area of expertise
• Thanks but – Thank you for asking me but I don’t have time to do that right now

You may want to rehearse saying no a few times to yourself if you think it'll be difficult. Say it out loud to yourself in the mirror with confidence until you believe it.

Imagine how great you'll feel when you've practiced saying no a few times and are seeing the results.

Caroline Love

www.stepoffyourstilettos.co.uk 

Have you ever tried coaching? Would you like to?

The wonders of technology mean it doesn't matter where you live.

A strategy session with me is completely free. Send me a message to arrange one.