Work and Relationships – A Balancing Act

At my networking meeting this morning I got chatting with a man who runs a travel company and another who in a previous job spent a lot of time travelling all over the world leaving little time for his family, friends and general life outside of work. This is a massive bugbear of mine.  One of the most fundamental areas which suffers when your work life balance is out of kilter are your relationships.

How many relationship breakdowns occur because one or other party is so busy elsewhere that their relationships with family and friends are put at the bottom of the priority list.  Partners can end up feeling feel put upon, ignored, and resentful. Not only of the time they don't spend with you but the impact on them of the lack of time investment. E.g. If one parent of a family is often absent the job of child care falls mainly on the other.  This is sustainable for bursts of time but if the absence continues for too long it inevitably puts strain on all the relationships in a family.

So what can you do to ensure your relationships don't pay the price?

Most importantly - reconnect with your 'Why'. Why do you go to work in the first place? Is it for the sake of the work itself, or is it to support your family. If it is the latter, then what changes can you make to ensure that you see and are able to enjoy the family you care so much about? How could you rearrange some of your work to make seeing people easier? Are you able to work from home sometimes? Maybe you can negotiate greater flexibility with your boss.

Ensure that when you are not at work you are fully present in the other areas of your life.  Leave your work emails alone, and turn the phone off. You are not indispensable to your work but you are to your family.

Make a decision to simplify your life. Are you working all the hours to pay for things you don't want or need to impress people you don't like? What can you do without? What is the best use of your time?

Make memories. If you have young children, I expect the last thing you want if for them to grow up thinking you have been a shadowy figure in the background. How would you like them to remember your role in their childhood when they are adults? Make an effort to have some really special times. They don't have to be expensive. Sand castles on the beach or building camps are the sorts of memories that endure just as much as big trips and outings.

Lastly – don’t take your relationships for granted. If you want to get on in work or business you know you will not get anywhere by not putting the effort in. Your relationships are exactly the same. Treat them like a precious plant. Feed and water them and they will flourish. Ignore them and – well you know what happens to uncared for plants...